So over it

You remember the chain, right? Look how far we've come! But with about 50ish days left, let me say, I AM SO OVER IT. I've thought this at least a thousand times, but I'm ready to be part of a two parent home again. I'm over being water logged with swimming lessons. It would be super if Hubby could sweep in and go to the remaining lessons. Ah, pure luxury. One I don't have, but soon! I sure do have a new respect for those who are single parents.

It seems like the closer we get the more anxious I get and the more I think that I can't do this another day! But the key to that is "I". Yes, I suppose that maybe "I" haven't done this at all and it really has been "we". Only the other one is God, not Hubby. I was chatting with some friends today about some spiritual stuff and admitted that I've sorta always been a little afraid of Hubby dying. I think that most wives are. So, I don't want to say that I'm totally over that fear, but God has certainly used this experience for me to give it all up to God. And to totally rely on Him rather than Hubby. It's a tough lesson for sure, but way back in the beginning of this whole thing one of my prayers was that this time wouldn't be wasted. I wanted someone to benefit. I actually wasn't thinking it would be me. I'm not quite sure what I had in mind, but, surprise, surprise...God used this time for ME. I know there have been (way too) many times that I've tried to be the mother/father everything for Baby without asking for His help...bummer. I don't just have to "push on through" these remaining days. I get to rest in the arms of my savior. Rest. Wish I would have realized this earlier. To throw a "thank you" up seems trite and insignificant. Maybe I'll spend some time in reflection about what God has done through this experience...and rest.