Things I think but never say

It's obviously always a little emotional when the Hubs leaves. But the emotion and reminders of his absence don't stop after we say good bye. There are constant reminders. Like when I finally do the last bit of laundry with any of his clothing items. And then days later actually put it away. Or clean up the kitchen and put away the cup (s) only he uses. Or make the bed and only my side is mussed. Or come across something he's left out or he gets mail I have to either deal with or set aside for him. I don't go to the dry cleaners to pick up his shirts anymore. I only make half a pot of coffee. His truck sits out front in our driveway. For awhile I catch a glimpse of it and my heart leaps-he's home! But then I remember where he is and I get a little lonely all over again. After awhile though the truck no longer affects me. My heart closes itself off a bit, I suppose as some sort of emotional protection. And then I keep on keeping on. The kids and I started a count down yesterday. We each have 300 hershey's hugs or kisses and get to have 1 a day "from dad." Until yesterday I wished every day was the day before. But now I'm wishing for tomorrow. And then it occurred to me this morning while doing that laundry-we no longer have 300 days until we see each other again. It's already 299!